That One Time I Almost Got Stuck in a Foreign Communist Country

Gather round, everyone, cause I'm going to tell a little story about that one time I very nearly missed my flight because that was just the sort of thing I was prone to do. Hopefully those days are behind me, but they're probably not.

Anyway, this happened a few years back. I'd just finished a lovely trip to Shanghai, visited family, went sightseeing, and did a whole bunch of tourist stuff. Like go to the aquarium without knowing how much it was (my cousin was paying) and then freaking out over the ridiculous summer prices. I love aquariums but I still wouldn't have paid that much to see fish swimming.

Where I learnt to haggle from my aunt. She haggles like an assassin.

So it was the last day of my stay in China, and I'd taken a shuttle bus all the way from Shanghai to Hangzhou cause back then, Hangzhou International Airport was the closest airport to Shanghai that had AirAsia flights. That meant I was all alone while waiting for my flight back to Malaysia. In hindsight, this might have been a mistake cause I was me. In my teen years. Not always the brightest.

Artist's rendition. Which makes it look not so much like in my memory.

So when the bus dropped us off at the airport around 9AM, the first thing I did was check my ticket. My flight was at 10:30AM, which meant I had an hour to spare. Sweet. So I chilled, going into the only shop they had and bought a magazine to flip through while I waited (total waste of money cause my Chinese sucks). Every ten minutes, I'd glance at the monitor they had that told us when the flights were boarding.

And let me just point out that the status for my flight was frozen at 'Checking In'. That didn't mean it was boarding, which in my head meant I had more time. That 'Checking In' status had been there since I'd stepped into the airport, so obviously I'd already done that part and my luggage with their mysterious cargo people. So I was wondering why the hell they weren't boarding my flight yet. Then at 10:31AM, I noticed the large group of Chinese tourists sitting in a corner waiting area had already disappeared.

Heart hammering. Palms sweating. I went up to the information counter and asked if they were boarding my flight yet since their dang monitors weren't saying anything.

"Oh, that flight has left already, sir," the lady replied. Shit.
"What?" I said. In my head, I quickly went through all the options I had.

1. Contact my family and ask them to bring me back to Shanghai then get another ticket for the next day. Not ideal. They'd probably be frustrated with me.
2. Cry like a baby and beg them to just give me a seat on the next flight.
3. Act outraged that their monitor was so broken and still displaying the flight status as 'Checking In'.

I started to go with Number 3. Not always the best thing to do, but the two other choices were probably worse. So I started with a frown and mentioned the monitor status. So the lady called some people and mentioned that I'd missed the boarding to them over the phone.

"You're in luck, sir," she said. "The flight hasn't left yet."

"Oh, thank you for your help," I said, as calmly as I could. Thank God. I was so relieved I nearly passed out.

Within five minutes, a pretty flight attendant appeared out of nowhere, hair flying, and walking as fast as she could on her little stilettos.

"Thank goodness you're here," she exclaimed. "We were all panicking over you."

"Oh, really?" I asked, feeling sheepish. "Sorry. The monitors were acting iffy."

"Next time, better to just follow the time on your ticket."

She had me breezing through security, skipping over lines and everything. It was so convenient a part of me was actually thinking, "I feel like a frickin' VIP. We should be late more often." Before I knew it, I was in my window seat next to a lovely couple of elderly Chinese ladies who were going to Malaysia on vacation.

"So you were the one we were waiting for," one of them chuckled in the way old people do.

Then I spent the next 5 hours giving them tips on Malaysian culture and telling them not to go out too late in Kuala Lumpur because there was a crazed acid-splasher on the loose. I am so good for our country's tourism.

So that's the story of how I single-handedly delayed a flight, managed to get on it in the end, apologized sheepishly to everyone I stepped past on the plane, and then told two sweet old ladies about the possible dangers of this tropical paradise.

The End

P.S. - Thank you, helpful flight attendant who was still pleasant even after I delayed the flight and probably got you in trouble. Wherever you are now, bless your heart

P.P.S .- I don't think I marred our country's image that badly, since the two ladies were actually super excited about gambling at Genting Highlands and I told them about how delightful the place was.